MOM TALK
Blog
You are not alone in the ups and downs of motherhood and residency. Stay up-to-date on how your peers are doing through this online blog: www.mothersinmedicine.com
Advice & Quotes
Planning
“I kind of wished that I waited until after first year residency to become pregnant. The transition from being a medical student to a resident can be rough…it is even rougher if you take 10 months off for maternity leave in between. The return to residency as an R1 was tough for the first couple of months. Still, it is not impossible!”
“If residents are planning ahead they should be aware that they must have worked for “600 insured hours in the last 52 weeks or since your last claim” before going on mat leave to qualify for EI. Given our standard 37.5 hour work week it works out to 16 weeks of work completed (before or between maternity leaves) to qualify”
During Pregnancy
“I never used a baby bath or breast feeding pillow. My son was bathed in a canning basin in the kitchen sink and propped up on an ordinary pillow off the bed.”
“When I arrived in the assessment room at Women’s with concerns, the obstetrics residents held a little conference and debated who knew me the least. That resident had the lucky job of performing my VE.”
“I carried dried fruit, cereal and a water bottle with me at all times throughout my pregnancy.”
Benefits
“I was happily surprised to find out that though I did not qualify for EI, I still qualified for the PAR-BC 85% top up for 17 weeks! I did need to advocate for myself as this didn’t seem to be common knowledge.”
“I was happy to find out that our health plan covered much of the cost of a private room. Some hospitals require you to request private or semi-private rooms when you are admitted so don’t forget to do this as they fill up quickly each day.”
Childcare
“After hearing horror stories about daycare wait lists, I applied when I was 5 weeks pregnant. I got “the call” from our daycare when my son was 11 months old. I had just interviewed 7 nannies in expectation of never making it off the list…”
“We found our nanny through word-of-mouth from friends, which meant that she came with a great and trustworthy recommendation. Furthermore, not only does she do a fantastic job with our daughter, but she also helps us around the apartment a bit, which means more family time for us.”
“We have her on waitlist for preschool in our area because it can be as difficult to get into a preschool as it is to get into a good daycare.”
“I had a terrible time with trying to find appropriate places to pump, so I don’t have any advice here. I actually pumped in a closet in one hospital!! Yikes! In terms of breast pumps though, I highly recommend the double pump…it’ll save you lots of time, especially if you need to sneak away for a brief period of time to pump.”
Work & Family
“Do work with your program to see what they can offer in terms of planning {your} return to work; all programs are NOT the same no matter if we are all under the same contract… “Each rotation is very different. Try to get an idea of what they are like from 2nd years/people who have been thru the program before.”
“Have expectations and time commitments set up prior to the program or each rotation. Make sure there are quality date nights to have time with just the spouse to decompress, away from the fast pace. It is easy to let this slide if not planned.”
“Good support for driving multiple kids to multiple activities is not always available. Make vacations memorable. I try to tuck my kids into bed at night if at all possible.”
“On a more philosophical level, I feel that it is a great honour to be a physician. I take that responsibility very seriously. I also however value my family more than anything in the world. My advice is to keep a close check on your family. They love you and will likely put up with a lot (and I mean A LOT!), and because of that it is easy to let things slide at home. So as difficult as it is to put your books aside, just check in with your family once in a while, tell your spouse/partner/kids how much they mean to you, and it will make a huge difference in the long run.”
“In terms of juggling family and residency, I like to call it a teeter-tauter. It seems to me that in order to commit yourself to one, the other suffers a little more. Whether it’s going away for the weekend with your family and falling behind on some readings, or staying longer for an amazing case in the OR and missing bedtime with your little one. For me though, the struggle became a little less difficult once I admitted this to myself and my husband. So now I know that if I’ve had a rough stretch at the hospital and have been quite productive with my reading, research etc, that I will commit more time to my family the next weekend.”
